Because sometimes we need a laugh

http://www.arctic.net/~veda/index_Page374.html

This is the Dutch Harbor, Alaska police beat. The female who writes the bulletin uses professional satire to report police activity. The calls are sometimes funny and outrageous. A little insight, Dutch Harbor is a large commercial fishing community and is where the show 'Deadliest Catch' on the Discover Channel is filmed. The town is filled with fishy characters, both human and animal.


Welfare Check –
At the request of a relative, an officer went to an individual’s
residence to check on his wellbeing. He was found breathing and
responsive, but in a drunken stupor in his bedroom. Relative expressed
regret for having supplied the liquor.


Suspicious Person / Activity –
A processor called 911 to report he was not getting as much work as he
wanted at his plant. His company would not purchase him a ticket home
and he felt this qualified as kidnapping. He was advised to contact
management in the morning.

Imagine the fodder that Rumford could supply to this writer!